Once More
by TheRoseShadow21
Summary: "...it's not a question of loving. I've loved him since forever. I've known him my whole life , I don't know how not to love him. But I don't really know if I am in love with him. Because in my mind , they are two different things. Completely different." With Valentine's day approaching , Tamako reflects on her feelings for the boy she's known forever. TamakoXMochizou , One-shot


For the first time in a while, we walk home together .Just us. And Dera-Chan, obviously. But just us. We chat the whole way. Well, it was me talking mostly , but I'm sure Mochizou didn't mind at all. By the time I get home, I've forgotten what exactly we talked about. Not that it matters. The feeling still remains.

Quickly, I dump my school things in my room and change. It's almost Valentine's Day , and I'm trying to make a new type of mochi to sell in the shop –apart from New year's Eve and Mochi Day , Valentine's is pretty much the busiest day for Tamaya , so all thoughts of Mochizou-and anyone else for that matter fly out of my head until I go up to bed.

My school bag packed, I decide to read a book before I go to sleep, when I hear the familiar sound of the cup-phone hitting the window.

Once again , we talk mindlessly , about everything and nothing , until we eventually lapse into a silence.

"So….I heard that Makino is making an chocolate building again this year?Over." Mochizou's voice makes me jump.

"Yeah . A castle this time. Complete with chocolate furniture, chocolate food and a chocolate royal family. Over."

"Seriously…chocolate food? Isn't chocolate food already?Over."

I laugh at that , and although what he said isn't spectacularly funny , I can't stop."

"Tamako? Tamako?" Mochizou doesn't bother with the 'over' this time. Oh God. He must think I'm dying.

I try to get my breath back , still spluttering with giggles. How is this he manages to do this to me ? "Sorry , sorry. Are you doing anything for Valentine's?Over."

Now it's Mochizou's turn to splutter. "No!Of course not!Over." He's more or less hidden behind the curtain of his room , but I can imagine him blushing , and that sets me off again. I am about to tell him that it's fine , that I'll give him some of my mochi…assuming I get the recipe right when Anko yells from the other room that we're being too loud .

"Goodnight, Mochizou. Over." I say hurriedly, throwing the cup-phone out of his window. There is no need to explain. He knows what Anko's like. Not to mention that he probably heard her shriek. I switch off my light, and lie in bed thinking.

I wonder if Mochizou will confess to me this year. It's too obvious that he likes me, and watching him stumble around that fact is kinda frustrating. But at the same time, I rather things stay the same, because...

…..what would I say? What would I do?

I mean, it's not a question of loving. I've loved him since forever. I've known him my whole life , I don't know how _not_ to love him. But I don't really know if I am _in love_ with him. Because in my mind , they are two different things. Completely different.

I could fall in love with him. I could. But I'm just waiting….

….For him to make me die of laughter once more

….For us to exchange a look over a memory that not even Midori-Chan has a place in.

….For him to wait for me after school when the others are ill again.

….For him to attempt, and fail, to give me a birthday present again.

….For him to identify with Anko in the way I never could once more.

….For him to make Dad mad, because once again he addressed him as "Dad".

….For him to hold me tight when I cry with one more promise of never letting go.

….For him to return Dera-Chan to me once more.

..For him to sit patiently with me and watch me go crazy over mochi making without complaints one more time.

….For us to chase each other around the shopping district once more.

….For us to have one more cup-phone conversation.

….For us to have one more of those moments where words are just not needed , because we can just _be._

…For him to cry with happiness when I next make him a cake on Mochi Day

….for him to attempt to learn the lyrics to the song Dad wrote for my Mum again.

….For him to blush cutely again.

….For him to smile at me once more.

Yes , I'm just waiting and watching, waiting for any of these moments , for just one of them to happen once more , just once more. Just once more.

Then , I'll know for sure.

**Since in the anime , it always seems that Tamako is simply dense to Mochizou's feelings , I felt it'd be interesting to pursue an alternative explanation –that Tamako has noticed the feelings , but doesn't want to do anything yet as she is still figuring out her own.**

**Anyway , please leave feedback , and thank you for reading.**


End file.
